Two Thousand and Sixteen

So this year I did a lot of things differently and am living more like a human being than a messy smelly poor student. I thought I'd share with you all as a parting gift 9 little things that have helped me in 2016. It's mostly word vomit as usual but maybe there's some new ideas in there that could help you too.

1. Make your own space
Especially when two people shoehorn their houses together, it can be hard to find your own quiet space. A whole wall of our bedroom is taken up by my OH's very large computer desk. I've got just enough space at one end to fit my laptop, so the cramped space made it hard to work in there. However, I've put up some shelves above it for storage and covered the bit of wall with things that make me happy. Little bits of origami, photos, watercolour experiments, letters from friends. It's nice to have a little colourful (or not colourful if you like that) space that's your own.

Like these little origami totoros that make my storage space prettier.

2. Presents spreadsheet
This year I started keeping a spreadsheet in google drive (for on-the-go access) with family and friends I buy presents for and columns for 'past presents', 'Christmas 2015', 'birthday 2016' etc. There's two columns for each category, one for presents given and one for presents received. It's made it sooo much easier when keeping track of everything, especially this Christmas when I don't want to accidentally get someone the same present as last year.

3. Money spreadsheet
(I sure love spreadsheets!) This one I really like more as a visual aid for keeping track of spending. At the end of each month I go into it and put in the end totals for each of my bank accounts (student account, savings account, Help-to-Buy ISA etc.) with a column at the end for a running total. There's a line graph linked to it that lets me see what money was where at each time with a nice green line above them all that shows how much money I own in the world. I went back and did this all the way from 2013 when I first opened my student bank account with £50. From it I can already tell that I am so much better at managing money and having a job is so worth it. For extra fun I even went and added a big negative line for how much student debt I have. Sorry, did I just say extra fun?

4. Give yourself a pep talk
The bank was a horrible place to work in over the summer, just horrible. There's such a phobia of technology that people would rather queue up at the one business desk than let me help them use a machine, which makes the queue ridiculous and makes everyone there angry too. Ugh. But occasionally there'd be a person, a nice old lady perhaps, that'd say to me something like "don't let the bastards get you down, you're always cheerful." I kept a note of all the nice things customers had said in my phone to read through after a tough one and give myself a little kick back into gear.

5. Making the most of crafting time
Keep a list of projects to refer to when you feel like doing something different. I've got a big to-do list with no end date of all the things I'd like to crochet or cross stitch or sew. Write ideas down as you think of them so you'll never be sat around racking your brains for ideas.

6. Use photos
Take photos of everything! I take photos of books when I start and finish them, finished projects to refer back to and show others, car park numbers so I don't get lost, everything.

A photo posted by Kate Tuck (@phystuck) on Dec 30, 2016 at 6:36pm PST

Taking a photo of this cross stitch, for example, so I can remind myself to finish the border later.

7. Conditioner before shampoo
When you used funky coloured hair dye, it gets washed out a bit when you shower. 'Shampoo > rinse > conditioner > rinse' means it gets washed out doubly as much every time I shower. So I switched to 'Conditioner ends > shampoo top of head > rinse' and honestly my very long hair is in so much better condition for it.

8. Streamline your morning routine
Little things like putting a heater in the bathroom for those extra chilly mornings, making a cup of tea for when I get out of the shower, getting clothes out beforehand, that sort of stuff. Just to minimise the 'just got of the shower freezing with wet hair dripping everywhere' moments.

9. Say hello/smile/wave a little bit when people walk into a room
It's a simple one, but it feels nice to be noticed by others. If that person is having a bit of a hard day, you looking pleased to see them might just make all the difference.

There you have it, some things to make your life just a little bit easier. Doing a bit of work at the time to make things easier in the future. In theory, anyway.

It's been a pleasure to have been here blogging for a year now. The word of next year is 'focus'- being determined and working hard to get where I want to be.

I hope your 2017 is excellent,

Limpet x

"It Takes Years to Develop a Personality."

Working in the pub last Friday afternoon, things got quite jolly. One of the regulars, a nice fellow called Jim, decided he was going to get into the Christmas spirit and drink Irish coffees. For some reason everyone joined in with him. So all the painters and decorators and plumbers that are usually downing beer were just sat at the end of the bar sipping from latte glasses. Don't get me wrong, they still had 7 or 8 of them, but the combination of whiskey and sugar and coffee really changed the usual atmosphere. Everyone had something good to say and I've never seen them more cheerful. It felt like Christmas! Even I was feeling tipsy by being around them.

Anyway, drunken cheerful Jim said something to me like "You're a really nice girl, Limpet. You've got a fun personality. It takes years to develop a personality, but you're cheeky and clever and it's good." Of course being in a pub I'm used to being flirted with 24/7, but this was different and once they'd all left it got me thinking.

It takes years to develop a personality.

I will admit that during 'The Bad Time' I sometimes felt like I wasn't my own person. I remembered being carefree and happy with myself when I was in school. Then after 'The Events' and having to take time out from university I was surrounded by a completely different group of people. This group were all at least 5 years older (from the kung fu club where I met my OH as well as others) and were settled in their jobs and lives. It felt almost like I was borrowing pieces of other people's personalities. I wasn't spending any time in my student house because nobody left their bedrooms and it was too isolating, so of course I felt like I was intruding in the house where I was staying. I spent months tiptoeing around not doing much with my days, waiting for my boyfriend to get home and not wanting to disturb his housemates. Going outside and meeting up with friends started to feel scary, which is partly the reason why I started doing so much crafting.

I digress, but Jim is right. It does take years to develop a personality. It's ok if you're not sure what kind of person you are when you start making your own way in the world. It's the experiences and how we deal with them that define us. I'll continue trying different things and keep doing the ones that I enjoy. My life will slowly build itself up around me as I slowly let go of those insecurities. And when my guard is down, the cheeky and clever Little Limpet that was hiding will shine out for everyone else to see.

Limpet x

Goal 66: Get my ears pierced!

It's done! At 21 years of age I have gotten my ears pierced for the first time ever!

I've been wanting to do it for a while and one Saturday after kung fu we decided to all go into town, so I thought I may as well get them done while the others do their shopping. The mister held my hand and we all went for ice cream afterwards while I felt very proud of myself.

I got 4 done at once, two ear lobes and two helix piercings in my right ear. Initially it was just going to be the two cartilage ones but then I saw all the cool earrings that existed in the world and wanted part of that.

Look how tiny my ears are! I have basically no ear lobes at all.

My internal monologue went something like this:

"10 year olds can do this. How bad can it be?
Oh that's actually quite a big needle.
It can't be worse than giving blood.
The needle's getting closer.
Oh god that thunk was the sound of puncturing cartilage.
Ow. Actually that wasn't so bad.
I'm really glad I'm not squeamish."

After that the metal bit gets pulled through the hole and there's a bit of internal screaming at that point. But since I had the cartilage done first I couldn't feel much after the initial pain. The cartilage stung constantly for about a day and it took a few days before I was able to sleep on my left side which just had the lobe in.

I am so excited for 10 weeks to go by so I can change the jewellery, assuming they heal fine. I'll be sure to post pictures of my newly decked out ears when that happens. Roll on February the 4th!

Limpet x

Luna the Crochet Dragon

Just wanted to share my latest project with you. I got commissioned for the first time! My best friend Tanya from secondary school asked me to make her a purple dragon. I sent her some photos of crochet dragons and she chose this one:

Luna the dragon in her new home.

I took a long-awaited trip to London to visit her and we had a really fun weekend. It was filled with calisthenics, old chick-flicks, food, and a Captain Morgan's themed night out where we got loads of freebies. Tanya was the envy of her whole student flat and Luna got lots of love and cuddles; she's practically a house pet.

Confession time: I thought it'd be really easy to put Luna together on the train up there but it ended up being quite an involved operation with lots of sewing. So after 4 hours of bumpy public transport her tail wasn't finished and she had no eyes! Tanya didn't mind me finishing her off though and was fascinated by the whole process. I'm really proud of Luna and a little sad to give her away.

The pattern can be found here on Ravelry. It's in Spanish but is easy to follow with Google translate. For more dragon-ness I added some small wings from the crochet cthulhu pattern here where they have a nice photo tutorial.

This is the second time I've finished my crochet at the last minute, but I'll try not to make a habit of it. Also, just look at Luna's eyes, she's so cute!

Limpet x

Doing a Physics

It's been a bit radio silence over here, hasn't it? Well that's because life is good! I am busy and have been doing a physics!

Pile of textbooks and lecture notes just to prove to you guys that I actually do work sometimes. On top is my Crystalline Solids course which is technically quantum chemistry and is really weird.

I've recently finished the group work section of my dissertation module. "Group work, in a dissertation!?" I hear you cry. Well yes, that's my thought on the matter too. In a proper subject like physics, no less. The thing is, we have to prove that we're capable of working with others. For physicists that can be a bit of a challenge (most of the stereotypes are true). Rather than letting us just get on with our dissertation they thought this module has to be the one with teamwork thrown in.

First we had to rank a list of topics based on preference, then get put into a group of four and split up the topic to write an abstract and do a presentation on it, before writing a proper dissertation by ourselves. For example, I was in the group for 'semiconductor nanowires'; researched 'the applications of semiconductor nanowires' in the abstract and presentation; and will write my own dissertation on 'nanowire photonics.' So I guess it's good in that you start off with a big topic and narrow it down to something you're interested in.

While writing the abstract was fine, the presentation was terrifying. I made the mistake of working the night before when I had to get into uni at 8am, so I was trying to educate my pub regulars on the growth of nanolasers to make myself a bit more confident. Growing lasers that are in the scale of 10⁻⁹ metres is pretty damn cool to me, but turns out it's super hard to explain a scale that small to people. Each individual nanowire can have the ends cleaved off to function as a teeny tiny laser cavity. I can't wait for them to actually make these.

An array of ZnO nanowires, which can be made less than 100nm in diameter (ie. fitting 10 trillion wires into a square cm). This is what I love about physics: at one end you've got the impossibly small, and at the other you have the vast incomprehensible expanse of the universe.

These zinc oxide nanowires in the photo above are actually used on some solar panels that are getting really, really efficient. Nanotechnology could be the future! My individual dissertation is going to be the photonics applications (photonics=photons=light=lasers and LEDs and optical fibres and stuff) so I get to delve even further into the crazy things nanowires can do.

But anyway, the presentation turned out going really well. I knew all my stuff and answered some complicated questions and they seemed impressed with us. My boyfriend was such a rock throughout the whole thing and me getting stressed and antsy about talking in front of people. He bought me coronation chicken sandwich fillers to munch when it was all over and drove me there early and told me "I'm so proud of you, little one". That's often all I need to get through something, just to know that someone is proud of me and rooting for me to succeed. 

Getting back into physics has been so great. It's what I'm meant to do in my life; I've been feeling productive and useful and it's lovely.

Just give me a few years and you'll be talking to a proper physicist!

Limpet x

Hepialus humuli

I was in the garden today, doing some sketching. I spotted something attached to the spider webs that cover this big wall of ivy we have, and it was a dead moth.

I feel affection towards moths; they're so fuzzy and cute. So I took him down and the naturalist in me took some pictures of him lying on the ivy leaf. He has one black eye and one white eye, and it's just his exoskeleton and bits of fluff and wings left.

Why is your eye white, little moth?

It reminds me of a time last July, when I'd first moved into the other house. I was sitting outside and I spotted something fluttering among all the overgrown vines on the ground. It was a big fluffy orange moth, and it was covered in ants. It kept trying to fly away but couldn't. Its wings weren't working, and every time it touched the ground again more ants would crawl onto it. I was filled with horror at what it must be like to be eaten alive, so I saved it. I coaxed it onto a big leaf, carried it to a safe place and squished all the ants. After that it just lay there, and died. It was a beautiful moth, but its wings were deformed and different shapes to each other. It's hard to describe what I felt then. I wanted the moth to survive over the ants so I killed them, and then the moth died anyway. The moth would probably have never survived, but I couldn't just watch it be eaten. I tried in vain at the time to try and find out what moth it was but couldn't because the wings weren't a normal shape. Months later I was flicking through a nature book in a charity shop and saw it. It was a ghost moth, Hepialus humuli!

It was a female ghost moth that I saw because she was bright yellow. They're called ghost moths because the wings of the male are pure white and he hovers, rising and falling, over low ground in his search for a female. I think the one I found today is most likely a common swift, which is in the same family as the ghost moth. He definitely has a similar look about him. In death, that is. I didn't get to meet this one when he was alive.

It makes me wonder: their lives are so short, but do they feel as long as ours? I just can't equate our long lifespan to the less than a year they get. Does a second feel like a minute to them? Do they even have a concept of time? Probably not. I suspect we humans are one of the few that have evolved a sense of our own existence, rather than the live-eat-breed-die that drives everything else. Does a moth ever feel it's coming near the end of its life? Does it ever think of all the little eggs it's laid? Or is it driven by pure instinct? It makes me sad to think of a life that's so easily taken. We don't have predators, we don't have to find our own food, we don't breed every year of our adult lives. In return we're left with such an abundance of free time that we don't know what to do with it so we invent philosophy and think there must be a meaning to it all. Maybe that's why seeing a dead moth brings such a feeling of insignificance to me. I get the same feeling from looking out at the cosmos.

We are all made of star stuff, moths and all.

Limpet x

Crochet Cuttlefish

And now for something lighter! I tried out the free pattern I posted last month to make a crochet cuttlefish, and then made him a friend using a different pattern just to spice things up a bit. I chose these father fetching purple colours which don't have a name or a brand really they're just cheap from The Range. My frugal nature just winces at spending more than about £2.50 on a ball of wool, and the supermarket is good enough quality for me.

Two different patterns of crochet cuttlefish.

The dark purple cuttlefish I made using the pattern already posted on this blog here. It ended up a lot bigger than I was expecting, and the head and body don't really need to be done separately. I do like the almond body shape and the eye bulges though.

The light purple cuttlefish is also a free pattern here; he's a bit smaller and rounder. I slip stitched around the head and body join just to make it a bit clearer, and also added two tentacles. (Cuttlefish have six arms and two longer tentacles for grabbing food.)

What I've realised from making these cuties is that I think I could make my own patterns. I've got a good grasp of shapes now and tentacles especially are really fun to make. My next project is a dragon for a friend who'll be in the same purples. If anyone has any ideas or patterns you want to see me try just let me know.

Crochet is fun!

Limpet x

S.A.D. but it's Alright

Just wanted to drop a quick note to say that, actually, I am okay. I'm going to be okay. Things are pretty good at the moment. Physics is going well- I've learned so much my brain feels like it's going to drop out. I'm trying to wrangle myself a job at a company that develops optical fibres on Mondays and Wednesdays since my days are free. And finally, it's nice to have money again! My pub work covers all the rent and food and stuff so I've got my student finance sitting pretty and untouched.

Yesterday I ordered a lamp with the power of a thousand suns that's supposed to help with seasonal depression. So when I have to be indoors at home studying, the light from that can gently warm my face and convince my body that it's summer! Yesterday I also organised a trip to see a school friend in London that I miss, and got back in touch with a few people.

The future is bright and all that, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

Limpet x

S.A.D.

I'm starting to think I may have SAD- Seasonal Affective Disorder. It was around this time last year that I started to get really depressed, and this time there's no situational reason for it. I don't know what to do, I feel so terrible. Just crying for no reason and feeling useless and feeling like I have no friends and I'm somehow not good enough as a person. I can't keep myself busy enough to ignore it.

Mushroom Forest

Today was stomping around the New Forest, that turned into a mushroom hunt just because there were so many. We found some edible ones- chanterelles and portobello, and some deadly ones- death caps.

Here's a cute little baby death cap!

You can click on the photo to see a few more pictures from the day. I just love being outdoors though, it makes me happy. And when I'm happy I want to share that with all of you!

Forests and fungi,
Limpet x