My Last Personal Post

Trigger warning: infidelity

Well, it's been a hot minute since I wrote anything of substance on this blog!

Way back in 2019 I wrote a post called "Happy Endings- I'm Engaged!" I don't know why I called it happy endings, in hindsight, as it should have been happy new beginnings. I was very happy, for a while. I found my person, we bought a house together, our future puppy had just been born...

So to set the scene: (This is just before the first lockdown was announced.) It's a month before our wedding is due to happen, everything is going swimmingly, we're literally in the car on the way to pick up our gorgeous little 8-week-old puppy.

And then I get this message from my friend:

"Hi Limpet, I have to tell you something. X and I have been sleeping together for the past 4 months. I’m telling you this because he wasn’t going to and I think you should know the type of person that you’re marrying. We’ve seen each other in your house, my house and in (place that's an hour's drive away) during his work hours. After speaking to X it seems like he would have continued this throughout your marriage"

And suddenly... everything changes. My mouth goes dry, there's a sinking, awful, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The first emotion's anger, then shame, then inadequacy. What had I done wrong? What signs had I missed? I started remembering things that now made sense, like how they used to hang out but he hadn't mentioned her in a while, how he worked a lot of late evenings, how she'd bailed from the hen party. Things that, if you trust your partner, you don't think twice about.

Anyway, there's no way I can write down everything that happened after that, because it was a mess. I was a mess. I thought I could forgive him, and stay friends with her even. We picked up the puppy and didn't cancel the wedding. I let him go see her to 'get closure', we tried counselling which he barely participated in and constantly interrupted me, but he was such a smooth talker, always talking his way out of it and telling me he couldn't live without me. I let it go on for months, and let COVID postpone the wedding for a year. In my defence, we were stuck in a small house together and not allowed to go outside more than once a day, that has to do strange things to your critical thinking.

I think my last straw was when he constantly complained about the dog fur in the house. I said:

"How are you going to cope with having children if you can't handle a bit of dog fur on the sofa?" 

To which he replied:

"Children are going to be way less messy than a dog." ... I know, right? 

I could tell he was gearing up to ask me to choose between him or the dog, so I decided I'd make his life easier and choose the dog. I moved to a completely new town because I could barely find anywhere that would let me rent with a dog. Splitting the house and finances and belongings was a nightmare. The rumour-mill of family members calling to ask what had happened was a nightmare. I just wouldn't wish a bad breakup and all that uncertainty on my worst enemy.

I am also much more wary of big-age-gap relationships. I was eleven years younger than my ex, and my ex-friend was fifteen years younger than him. Still, there's some Schadenfreude in that fact that he's rapidly approaching 40 and is unlikely to find anyone better. Hey, it was a traumatic experience! I'm allowed to be a little bitter about it, right?

Aaaaanyway, now we teleport to the present day!

I have bought my own house. Just me! It's small but nice. My gorgeous puppy is now a gorgeous grown-up dog. We go for runs and cycles together. I have new friends, and a boyfriend who's kind and hot. I don't defer to anyone else's decisions any more; I do what I want, basically.

So I think this is going to be my last personal post on this blog. I was naïve to think that getting married at 25 was going to be the most exciting event of my life, and have learned that it's bad to depend too much on others for your happiness. The main thing I learnt was self-respect, though. That is so, so important.

Take care of yourselves, and make good choices!

Limpet x

Tiny Bulbasaur (Free Crochet Pattern)

I have just set up an Etsy shop for crochet/cross-stitch/art prints/pyrography/3D-printing (I have far too many ideas...) and to celebrate, here is a free crochet pattern of my favourite Pokémon, Bulbasaur!

If you'd like to support me or get the whole set, this pattern and the other Kanto starters can be found on my new Etsy:
Tiny Bulbasaur
Tiny Charmander
Tiny Squirtle
or save money and get the whole set!

As always, if you have any questions about the pattern or notice any problems with it please contact me through the comments section. I love to see pictures of the things people make with my patterns so if you make a Tiny Bulbasaur and post it online, send me a link.

Level: Beginner, but can be fiddly to sew together

Ingredients:
Small amounts of Bulbasaur-coloured wool (I used DK weight)
Crochet hook (I used 3.5mm)
Fiber fill or stuffing of your choice
Two safety eyes (I used 10mm)
Tapestry needle
Scissors

Abbreviations:
Sc - single crochet
Inc - increase (2 single crochet stitches in one stitch)
Dec - decrease (I recommend the invisible decrease method)
Sl st - slip stitch
Ch - chain, followed by a number indicating the number of chains to make

Pattern use:
You can do anything you like with the finished product, but please do not sell this pattern or redistribute it without credit. Please use your own photos to sell your products.

Bulbasaur is part of the Pokémon franchise and does not belong to me in any way; it belongs to Nintendo.

The pattern!

Head:
Using turquoise wool
Round 1) 8 sc in a magic ring (8)
Round 2) inc in each stitch around (16)
Round 3) *sc, inc*, repeat around (24)
Round 4-8) sc in each stitch around (24)
Attach the safety eyes between round 5 and 6, four stitches apart.
Round 9) *2sc, dec*, repeat around (18)
Round 10) *sc, dec*, repeat around (12)
Sl st to finish, leave a long tail and stuff the head


Body:
Using turquoise wool
Round 1) 6sc in a magic ring (6)
Round 2) inc in each stitch around (12)
Round 3) *sc, inc*, repeat around (18)
Round 4-6) sc in each stitch around (18)
Round 7) *5sc, inc*, repeat around (21)
Round 8-10) sc in each stitch around (21)
Round 11) dec in each stitch around to close, stuffing the body as you go
Finish stuffing, sl st to finish, and sew the body closed

Sew the head onto the body, using pictures as a placement guide. Get Bulbasaur's eyes as forward facing as you can so he's looking straight ahead.


Legs (make 4):
Using turquoise wool
Round 1) 10sc in a magic ring (10)
Round 2-5) sc in each stitch around (10)
Sl st to finish, leave a long tail

Stuff legs lightly and sew onto the body, using pictures as placement guide.


Ears (make 2):
Using turquoise wool
Round 1) 6sc in a magic ring (6)
Round 2) *sc, inc*, repeat around (9)
Round 3) *2sc, inc*, repeat around (12)
Sl st to finish, leave a long tail

Squish the ears flat and sew the ears onto the head, using pictures as placement guide.


Bulb:
Using green wool
(leave a long tail at the start for sewing)
Round 1) Ch 12, join to first ch with a sl st (12)
Round 2) inc in each stitch around (24)
Round 3-4) sc in each stitch around (24)
Round 5) *2sc, dec*, repeat around (18)
Round 6) *sc, dec*, repeat around (12)
Round 7) dec in each stitch around (6)
Round 8) sc in each stitch around (6)
Sl st to finish, weave in the tail. (You can sew the neck of the bulb tighter to give it more shape.)

Stuff bulb from the bottom and sew onto Bulbasaur's back.


You're almost there! Take some darker blue wool and embroider small triangles/squares on Bulbasaur's forehead, sides, and legs. You could also glue on small pieces of felt. This is the part that really brings it all together. Now hide the ends of your thread and enjoy your #001 brave boy Pokémon!

This crochet pattern is © Kate Tuck, 2020. This pattern may not be sold, re-written, or re-posted without the author's permission.

Teeny Tiny Trilobites (Free Cross Stitch Pattern)

Hello all and welcome back! This is a project that, to my shame, I started three years ago and then promptly forgot in a corner of my sewing box... but what's a better lockdown activity than finishing old craft projects?

Presenting my teeny trilobites! These critters were once so prevalent that they're now excellent marker fossils for dating the surrounding rocks. (As much as I like how this turned out, I'm not sure I ever want to stitch on 28-count fabric again.)

These trilobite patterns were generously posted by Adventures in Stitching, so I decided to stick them together and add the genus names underneath for a little natural history style sampler:

Purple: 1100 stitches

Brown: 504 stitches

Total size: 95 x 55 stitches

Since I never actually buy proper DMC or Anchor colours, the colours I used were 'lavender' and 'dark brown', which I think look great in contrast to the off-white linen.

I hope you enjoyed this little make and it will inspire you to maybe try something a bit out of your crafty comfort zone.

Limpet x

 

Happy Endings- I'm Engaged!

Back in January of 2016 I wrote my first post here and talked about why 2015 was both the best and worst year of my life so far. The main reason was that I met Mr Limpet (best) but had to deal with a very spiteful ex-girlfriend (worst). There's nothing like some social trauma and a lot of vicious rumours to test your exciting new relationship! However, now the air is clear, the ex is long gone (turns out she cheated on at least two boyfriends since then), and all that's leftover is the fuzzy nice-feeling bit.

Little Limpet and Mr Limpet are soon going to be Mr and Mrs [REDACTED]; We're getting married!

Spot the octobobble!

In the interests of transparency we actually got engaged in the summer whilst on holiday. There was no fanfare and no public displays of affection (embarrassing), I just opened my ''surprise present" in the hotel bed after watching Ratatouille on TV. We'd spent the day diving and meeting octopuses and a mother cuttlefish, so the fact that the ring has a little octopus holding the stone is just super special.

So for me the new year and 2019 brings all the good feelings and the knowledge that life is plodding along as it should. I may have mentioned before that I never thought I was the sort of person that could settle down with someone, but we've even started looking for our first home together. The right person can change everything. I'm hoping for a whole wall just for books!

Limpet x

Card Suits Cross Stitch Free Pattern

I had someone ask me for the pattern of the card suits I used in my Alice cross stitch which I'm happy to share. Like this person, I couldn't find any satisfactory patterns online, so I made them up.

Here they are:

I'd have no idea how to translate clubs or spades into corner squares...

Each card suit measures 9x9 stitches which makes them nice and easy to place in borders. The smaller squares in the rounded parts of the hearts, clubs, and spades show where to put your half cross stitches. I think they give a nice shape without having to make the design too big, as you can hopefully see below.

My first cross stitch... ah, the memories...

So there we are, card suits. Please use them as you wish!

Limpet x

GIR, Reporting for Duty!

GIR: Oh. I left that at home.
Zim: You left what at home?
GIR: The guidey chippy thingy.

Zim: You! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?

GIR: To make room for the cupcake!

GIR is a robot alien in a dog suit from 'Invader Zim,' a show that was unfortunately cancelled due to a lack of any educational value. He's not stupid, he's advaaaaanced. 

This pattern is wonderful and Gir looks just like his cartoon counterpart. Since he stores his cupcake in his head I also added that, because why not. The head is reinforced with card so he's still structurally sound without his cupcake inside, and the ears are kept up with some bent paperclips.

I have to say I'm beyond happy with how this turned out. Who couldn't love those boggley eyes?

Just going to skip over the fact that it's July and this is only my second post of the year!

Limpet x

How I lived on £5 per week as a student

This may potentially be the most boring post ever™. I don't really feel like a student now, mainly because 1. it's almost over, thank god, and 2. I gave up on that whole living with 6 people thing a while ago. When I was a studenty student I *hated* spending money (and I still do really). I was determined to live off as little as possible. Of course some weeks my shop would be slightly more/less expensive but in general I was living off around £5 per week.

First a disclaimer:

1. I am a small female. At 5'1" and 50kg (110lbs), I do not need to eat as much as the 'average' person. Even now I eat 1000-1500 calories a day.
2. This £5 is just for food. Alcohol and nights out are extra but if you save this much on food you can still have fun while everyone else is in their overdraft!
3. Since fruit and veg is sold by the kg I didn't know how to add this to my list very well, sorry.
4. It's much easier to spend £10 for 2 people rather than £5 for 1, which is what happened most of the time. We shared vegetables and cooked up a stir fry to use up leftovers.

This table gives an idea of what was in my cupboards/fridge/freezer. The freezer is king. Sometimes I would even buy the biggest bottle of milk and freeze some of it to save money. Haha, this post is really making me realise how much of a miser I was. But seriously, freeze your bread.

	Food	Price	How long will it last?	Cost per week
Essentials	Milk	£0.75	1 week	£0.75
	Eggs	£0.85	2 weeks	£0.43
	Porridge oats	£1.60	10 weeks	£0.16
Meats	Chicken thighs	£3.15	2 weeks	£1.58
	Frozen white fish	£2.00	3 weeks	£0.67
	Frozen prawns	£2.50	3 weeks	£0.83
Stodge	Lentils	£1.15	8 weeks	£0.14
	Potato	£0.25	2 weeks	£0.12
	Wholemeal bread	£0.40	3 weeks	£0.13
	Couscous	£1.20	12 weeks	£0.10
			Total:	£4.91

(apologies for the table formatting, I'm not the best at html)

Other essentials like onions, garlic, mushrooms, tinned tomatoes and other veg it's really hard to remember how much I'd get through. There was a very cheap vegetable market that my house would take turns getting stuff from and sharing it which is a great idea.

The key to my frugality was making food in batches and then freezing. A nice big chili con carne can last for an age and you don't have to eat the same thing every day. I liked having the prawns to mix up with couscous and salad stuff when I wasn't feeling the stodgy homemade meals. Frozen fish you can cook in tin foil with some potato and lemon juice. Lentils are great for filling out stews and soups.

So in conclusion, my tips:

1. Buying big bags of lentils/rice/pasta and keeping them in the cupboard is a great way to save. The weeks when you have to restock these it'll be more expensive, but will even out in the long run.
2. Supermarket own brands are fine. If in doubt just look at the price per kg.
3. NEVER buy basics mince though, that is my exception to that rule. It's not worth it. In fact, meat in general. However stodgy things like bread and pasta there's no difference.
4. The key to cheaper cuts of meat (like thighs rather than breast...heh) is to cook it slowly in stews or casseroles. They're a bit fattier but also tastier because of it.
5. If you're worried about not getting your nutrients for strong and healthy growing you can buy one-a-day multivitamins for £3 that will last you for 6 months.
6. Make the most of university events! Career events particularly provide free pizza, and if you help at open days and school visits you get food as well as money. They used to send around an email in the physics department if there were leftover sandwiches on offer in the seminar room... cue a not-so-subtle upstairs migration of PhD students.

Hope you can forgive my dodgy maths and appreciate this as more of an idea I was trying to get across!

Limpet x

Time and Space Squid

What kind of science fiction makes a grown woman invest emotion in a genetically enhanced squid?

The book is called Time by Stephen Baxter, and it's about space squid. No joke. It's great.

This book is called Time. I'm only half-way through it, and already it's managed to walk through the whole future of humanity up to 10¹⁷⁰ (that's 170 extra zeros) years away, past when the only light in the sky is the brief flickers of matter as it passes through the event horizons of black holes. Of course this kind of time is incomprehensible, that's the whole point of the book. Does it make life any more precious, any more different? Is it comforting if you knew that your descendants would be there right up until everything has just, sort of, drifted away and died. Such a long time away that even the protons and neutrons have decayed? Sometimes life feels like a struggle for meaning, and it goes back to what I've always thought. That there is no "meaning" to it all, we just exist. Sorry, not sorry. Religious ideals and other spiritual callings have never cut it for me. They seem cowardly, giving importance where there isn't any. We just survive and reproduce and then our children survive and reproduce, and try not to mess up the planet on the way to eternity. You can spin it in that depressive way, but it's also awesome. I mean that by the definition of the word, inspiring awe. There's so much around us, and it's refreshing sometimes to be reminded how small we are. Because in 10¹⁷⁰ years, who's going to know about it? Scrap that, even in 200 years I'll have faded out of memory. I exist for myself, and for my loved ones. We can comfort each other in the emptiness.

I crocheted some space squid on their space rocket, too. The rocket is a christmas present for a not-quite 2-year-old. I'm planning to start him thinking about this stuff early. So he's prepared, you know?

Limpet x

Things I Want to Change About Myself

The 'S.S. Kate', because one of my pen friends is adorable.

This is a list! A short list of things I want to change about myself:

Mental:

Get off antidepressants

-it's time and I think I'm ready. If you guys want to hear more then let me know and I'll be open about everything.

Be able to code for simple physics

-it would make my job so much easier if I knew what physics would do before it did it!

Physical:

Cut my hair short?

-I've been almost sitting on it for years now and fancy a bit of a change

Have a six-pack (of abs, not beer!)

-I know it's there, just need to go the final push and lose the last centimeter

Give blood whenever I can

-this was important to me, but I keep making excuses

Get a tattoo

-it's my body and I want to make a mark on it

Stretch my ear lobes

-being brave and looking a little different

More piercings

-as above

There are many more 'physical' than 'mental' items which I know may seem shallow. But on the whole I'm happy with myself and doing well in the great ol' journey of life. I feel like it's just time to make my mental self image line up more with what the rest of the world sees. I couldn't tell you exactly what that is, but it involves not being a little girl any more. All a part of growing up I suppose.

Limpet x

Optics on the Surface of Mars

You know sometimes when I don't post for a while it's because I feel uninspired or I just haven't done much worthy of posting or there's so much going on in real life.

I just wanted to say that I am so happy. I'm doing my year in industry placement and I get to play with lasers and improve things that make an actual difference. My company has optical fibers on the surface of Mars for goodness sake, I'm doing real proper science!

I'm doing as well as humanly possible there, I love making my own experiments. I love talking to everyone from all different backgrounds and hearing how they got there. On Monday I'm going on a field trip to the National Physical Laboratory in London, and they're sending me on my own! I'm so looking forward to the future. Just a few short months at university afterwards and then I'm free!

I hope everything is hunky-dory with you too,

Limpet x